My little brother, in age that is, has started university… again! I say again because at the tender age of 18, he stopped school all together to work for a year. It seems like only yesterday when he came home unexpectedly last year, upset and near tears. He had just started his first year of university in a town west of where we live.

In Holland it is common for students to live ’on rooms’ as we call it. The rent is horrendously high and student-payment is pitifully low. Rooms can vary from an old house rented by students to a complete apartment building designed for students, where each floor has single rooms and a kitchen and bathroom to share. You could compare this with dormitories in the States except in Holland they are not on the school campus.

My little brother Willem-Jan (Dutch for William-John) having the latter, we all put in a lot of time and effort helping him paint, clean and finally move so that he could settle and feel at home there. The graffiti-artist that he is, he put much care in putting a ’piece’, as he calls it, on one wall of his room. Never mind the penetrating smell of the spray cans and the mess it made on the floor we had just cleaned! His mark stood there colorfully spread over the wall as a reflection of his own identity and interests at that moment of his life!

As his older sister, and the one having a car, I went with him to pick up his books and laboratory items so that he was all set to begin his major Molecular Science. I saw him off to his room, wished him the best, told him to be sweet and stay out of trouble and drove back home… bawling over my little brother who I had always picked up from kindergarten and now had grown so fast and moved on to college! Until a couple of weeks later&8230

It was on a late morning, when I happen to be at home. I heard the door slam and someone was coming up the stairs. Willem-Jan with his backpack! He came into my room and I saw immediately that something was amiss! "What’s wrong? Why aren’t you in school?" I asked him tentatively. And then it all came out! He felt that he had chosen the wrong university and the wrong major for himself. Already dreaded by this conclusion, he feared to tell mom and all the others! He felt utterly guilty because we all went through so much trouble helping him out with his room barely a fortnight ago! "But maybe if I hurry, I can still go to another university in one week and pick another major!" he said desperately; hoping that this would give him a waiver for the confrontation with mom explaining why he was home!

University-wise, Holland is not like the US, where one can easily go to university no matter what age you are. Wondering if one could ever make a good decision for practically the rest of ones life in less than a week, I told him "Why not work or travel for a year? Take a break and in that time give your mind and spirit the chance to find out what you really want to do! Visit other universities and check out their programs, visit job seminars and see what they got to offer. But most of all, seek in yourself&8230 what your heart says, because that’s the toughest part of all!"

Well, he did just that and over the past year he got himself a temporary job and took time to look in on different studies. This, being one of the most frequent topics to discuss during dinner, items such as ’Job most likely to earn a lot of money’ ’Is being good at something pur sec something you have to pursue as a career to succeed?’ or ’Is passion enough to make it in a field where there are hardly-to-non job opportunities?’ crossed the table many a time!

As I heard him boast about the perfect career opportunities and making loads of money, I started to reflect upon my own career. After working immense hard for several years and putting in loads of hours and energy - I had earned the career spot at long last, I so much longed for. I had it all! A high executive top function at a prestigious company, my own department to manage, the status, the money, the company car and that for a female at the mere age of twenty-seven, a fairly good achievement in Dutch business that is still rather conservative!

The thought of achieving all this kept me going all the years prior to succeeding in getting what I ultimately wanted. That was going to give me the fulfillment I needed… I thought! But when I finally got there, it felt empty! I caught myself thinking at times ’Is this it?’ And then it hit me. It was not what made the world go round for me after all! The fulfillment I needed, always have needed and fortunately has always been around me, was the love and care of my family and friends. That, I discovered, was my fuel for life. The energy that it gives, enables me to keep me on my feet during all the trials and experiences one has to go through in live to enrich one’s spirit and soul.

So as my little brother was making a switch in major, I was making a major switch in priorities of life! This total new view of life has made work more fun for me and more aware of the familybond and friends around me.

Not so long ago, I walked up the stairs. I walked into W.J.’s room to share my thoughts on my newly acquired view of life with him, knowing I had to give him the freedom to experience his own choices. He nodded and said he understood. He proudly showed me his new books and shoved them in his back-from-retired backpack. He then walked down the stairs and gleefully took off to start his first week of university… again!

Written by Patricia Caffin – The Netherlands, 10/23/99